The Skeptic

Several weeks ago, I wrote a love letter to myself during the peak of Summer heat and busyness. Where everyone is running around like headless chickens, trying to pack a year’s worth of activities into a two month window. As I wrote the letter, the words felt foreign to me. Was that really my own voice speaking to me?

………

How did I ever believe that things would be how they would be forever? I allow myself to release the girl I was when I was younger. The pain she carried. The choices she made to comfort herself. The isolation she lived in. The pattern of self-destruction she lived with.

Thank you for taking me this far, younger me. I am proud of everything you have done to build a different life for yourself. I know it was not easy. And I ask you to now allow me to help steer the direction.

I do not believe any life is lived in vain. Each soul has a mission. Whether people understand that or not, is besides the point. In time, I rest assured that we learn what another’s soul’s intent was.

Understanding that I do not need to live confined to a box is important. I can allow myself to dream of more in life and to keep taking steps that inch me closer. An inch a day adds up. Do not lose sight of the progress that has been made. Remember to use your own measuring tools.

If I could speak to my younger self, I would remind her that she is loved beyond measure. I would wrap her in my arms, in the warmth they now have. I would remind her that her “fellow weirdos” are out there and looking for her too. I would remind her that clarity and answers do come. And always, at just the right time.

I can see her looking at me, with tears in her eyes, asking me why she is experiencing life the way she is. I hold her hand tight and tell her to be strong. She will reach places she only dreamed of once, I tell her.

The dreams you hold are your gift. The questions you have are yours to seek answers to. The world you want to see is yours to help build. There are people to help you along your journey. There will be challenges that arrive, that you had not anticipated. There will be monsters that scare you. Just remember, most of them, are within your own mind.

I know you were skeptical. I know you had to see things for yourself to believe. Have I shown you?

…….

She bows her head and looks out the window.

Thank you.