Congruence

If someone were to ask me, what I got out of three years of regular therapy, I would say this single word; “congruence”. That was the term he used. Somehow it is a radical notion to the human mind, that living in a way that is inauthentic to the individual is soul sucking. Yet, we continue to expect it from each other. Choosing to live in a way that is healthy for us, or we are on a journey we wanted to experience, is somehow seen as rebellion.

I call it self-preservation. No matter, how little sense it makes to anyone else. Or how long it takes any of us to understand things in our own time, or grow in the way others want to see. Are they living your life? Absolutely not. Have they seen the world through your eyes? No.

Basically, as I unpacked memory after memory and shit I was ashamed of, I finally came to a long overdue conclusion, which was that half of the shame I was carrying around was not really mine to begin with, and, I was going to cause myself far more suffering if I did not integrate every single one of those pieces into my being.

Also, every time life started demanding things from me and my internal thoughts got dark, is when I realized I was going to need to make some changes before I drove myself insane.

Trying to keep things hidden and buried deep, I am pretty sure is what leads to bursts of outrage when we quite literally cannot contain it anymore. Sooner or later, everyone’s mask can no longer hold. No matter how tight you think you have it on. Also, it is far more helpful to every single other human being on this planet, when we speak our truth. Because there is something to learn in everyone’s experience and that is where healthy conversations are had, realizations/clarity come, and solutions created.