Younger Writer

She left bread crumbs for me. From the constant urge to be buried in a book, and feeling guilty when that was not what I chose to do with my time, to the ten notebooks scattered around her desk.

As an adult woman, she looked through a book she had put together in the sixth grade. The question was, what is your dream? She had written authour. The distractions of growing up made her question the path she was supposed to take. Everyone else’s expectations and commentary, made her stuff her inner voice further and further down, until she was living a life she did not recognize. It took her a while to find her way back, and many agonizing periods where it was challenging to even get pen to paper, let alone string together a couple sentences or share her opinion.

She currently sits behind her computer, balling her eyes out, as the words flow effortlessly through her and she listens to a beautiful playlist called “What Is Meant For You Unfolds Gently”.

By accident, about 18 months ago, she had stumbled across a blog she had tried to get started in the 11th grade. She had gotten self-conscious when others teased her and made fun of her sensitivity. Her ability to absorb the feelings in an atmosphere meant times where she absorbed too much, and things that were not hers to carry, but it also allowed her to understand some of what is not expressed by others verbally.

Things that gave her a reason to write. Someone had once told her, recently, “when you want to numb, do anything besides that”. She has repeated several times in the last year, that creating, is when she feels at her best. As a human, I believe we are meant to create. And that when we consume, more than we make our own things, is when we do not end up doing so well.

Some of the words she had pondered when she was younger for her blog were Veneficus, Indelible, and Jubilation. All of the little words and things she has been into over the years, left a road map, for the things that were important to her.