The Sunflower and The Cashier

            Learning to not get defensive when someone offers insight into the way we are living our lives or the way we are handling something can be difficult. At times, I have gotten defensive and wanted to scream “but you don’t understand”. Over the couple years, I have relied on the people who provide me with uncomfortable truths to help get me out of the rut/repetitive patterns I have been living in.

            The annoying part can be admitting that someone perhaps has more knowledge on something or is better equipped to help us navigate a challenging situation. Sometimes though, unsolicited feedback can seriously get under my skin, especially from people that barely know me. Take for example, the customer who felt it was his place to ask me what I was doing with my life and to tell me that I needed goals and aspirations.

            There are others, like my partner, or a handful of friends, who can say something I do not want to hear, but it is like ripping off a band aid. At some point, I was going to have to address the issue, and it helps when others make the process a little lighter by saying it in a caring and loving way. How feedback is delivered is also important. For example, partners yelling at each other in an argument and saying how they hate when their partner does this and that, doesn’t help anyone get to the root of the issue. Rather, people put up their walls in these moments, cross their arms, and don’t want to continue the discussion.

            It is a lifelong process of learning how to be receptive to feedback, that is often coming from a place where people are genuinely trying to watch out for each other. And, even though it is wildly uncomfortable when they first mention these things, sometimes life comes with much greater ease when we actually listen to the advice.