The Sunflower and The Cashier

            Standing there naked, I examine myself in the mirror. I am reminded of that Nirvana album cover; the one with the girl, with wings and her intestines. How cool would it be if the human eye had x-ray capability, where I could see my own insides?

            The dog had surgery a few months ago. It was scary to think of how the vets had gone into his innocent body, and to look at the long scar along his belly. He is back to his chipper self, as if nothing had happened. I worry sometimes though when he is always walking up the stairs with me and the strain I imagine that puts on his body. I worry when his poop doesn’t look great either.

            This weird motherly energy I am not used to is coming out of me. I think back to this morning, after I had gotten out of the shower, wondering if my body would even be able to carry a child. It boggles my mind that our bodies can bring new life into this world.

            The conversations I have with other women make me feel less alone. Those who share their story of motherhood, or even mothering in other ways/bringing new ideas into physical form. Maybe this is all on my mind because I was just at a baby shower.