The Sunflower and The Cashier

             While it is important to have a certain level of awareness of what is going on in the world around me, I have learned that there are some parts of my mind I prefer to protect. If I input my mind with crap, what I get out is crap as well. As I look around the space that I am writing in, there is a calendar that hangs on the corner with a dog running with a red heart in its mouth. To the right of me, there is window with a cross on the windowsill and snow coming down gently. The room is filled with an array of bright colours, and I spent the morning lying in bed with the dog cuddled up with me and was on a phone call with a friend where we talked about creativity.

I suggested we are all creative. I have not always thought I was, but what I am learning is that a lot of factors have to be in place for me to be able to write consistently. I am listening to music, where the art is of a woman lying in a river with pink blossoming lotuses surrounding her, as she has her arms outstretched.

            Prior to losing my sanity, I wanted a deeper understanding of a lot of things about life. While, I am not saying I have lost my curiosity, what I am saying is that I set parameters for where I let my mind or body enter. There are some aspects of human existence, that I honestly would prefer not to experience. There’s a reason there’s the saying “ignorance is bliss”. What we don’t know, or haven’t experienced, can’t harm us (that is, unless we stress ourselves out to the point of inaction because we are worried of all the potential things that could happen throughout life.

            There have been times, when I have gotten offended when someone says, “you don’t want to see this/you don’t want to know”, because realistically, I do not. What someone is saying with those two statements, is that they are trying to protect me and not cause me unneeded anxiety and mental instability.

            I sometimes wonder what was going through my mind as a child, when I explored various parts of the world. I don’t think I was able to comprehend half of what I was walking through, and to this day, struggle making sense of some of the places I have found myself and the people I have met.

            Allowing myself a certain level of isolation, allowed me to develop a greater appreciation for the child inside me who wants to be protected, to create, to play. Running around and getting too stressed out by adult responsibilities does not help anyone, if there is not a certain level of wonder and mystery to the way you live your life. I have infused every single part of my day, with a level of mystery. Protecting my inner child’s sense of awe.